Selecting a Guardian for Your Minor ChildrenAccording to a recent survey, only 36% of U.S. parents with minor children have a will. This means that 64% of children do not have a legal guardian selected for them by their parents in the event of the unexpected. Instead, these children will be the subject of guardianship proceedings by the state court system and social services department. In the same way that parents aim to protect their children during life, parents should act to avoid such circumstances and instead ensure their children are well taken care of in the event something where to happen to them.
Choosing a guardian can be overwhelming. Many couples have not finalized their will and estate plans simply because they cannot agree on a guardian. Parents should not delay for this reason. Parents should think about what qualities are most important to them in a possible future caretaker for their children. Consider the following questions:
- Who will love your children in your absence?
- Who will afford your children a safe, stable environment?
- Are there social or religious qualities that are important to you?
- Where do you want your children to live and be raised?
- Who has qualities you respect and admire and would want passed on to your children?
- Would a family member or close friend be a better caretaker?
- Who would honor your memory?
Importantly, parents should identify 2 or 3 possible guardians, to ensure a back-up plan in the event one or more guardians are unable or unwilling to act as guardian. After you’ve agreed on a list of possible guardians, schedule a time to talk to each person about the issue of guardianship. Tell them: “We are meeting with our attorney to work on our estate plans and would like to talk to you about a few issues that are important to us.”
When you’re ready to have that conversation, here are some issues you should cover:
- The ask: “We’ve thought a lot about the type of person/family we’d like to help raise our children in the event we were to pass away unexpectedly. We would be honored if you would consider acting as guardian of our children.” Let them know if there are family, religious, emotional, social, or other reasons that were important to you in selecting them as a possible guardian. You can also let them know if there are qualities or beliefs you hope they pass on to your children.
- The arrangements you’ve made: “We’re meeting with our estate planning attorney to finalize ours wills/trust. We intend to make sure you are provided with the necessary finances to care for our children.” You may want to mention if you’ve purchase life insurance or have set up trusts to assist them financially. You can also discuss if you will allow them the choice to live in your home while they are raising your children.
- Give them time: “We know this is a big responsibility. Please think about it and let us know if you will act as guardian.” Tell them when your next meeting with your attorney is and ask that they get back to you by then.
Contributing Attorney: Allison Kierman is an attorney at Kierman Law, PLC where she provides assistance with estate planning and business consulting.
My sister and her husband are divorcing and he will get custody of their two boys. He is active in the Military and currently overseas. He will be returning late September and they wish for my husband and I to care for them for a few months due to my sister moving out of state. I would like some form of legal documentation to be able to enroll them in school and seek medical care if needed. What is the quickest, easiest, and least court dependent way to do this? All parties are in agreement.
I'm wondering if a Grandparent can get guardianship of a Grandchild through the courts alone? Can the Grandparent get court papers and have the Parent sign them without the Parent going to court also?Doesn't the Grandparent and Parent need to be involved in the court process?
Does Az require a Move Away Order from California to transfer or obtain Guardianship of my Granddaughter?I have full guardianship in CA for the last 4 years.
My daughter is 16 years old & is mentally handicapped. I want to get guardianship. What do I need to do first?
I am the legal Guardian of my 15 y/o neice who is currently pregnant. Do I need to establish guardianship of the baby?
If a married couple has guardianship of children for the past 5 years, and the couple now wish to divorce. Would the they risk losing the children?
My step-daughter is living in AZ with her aunt and uncle. We are trying to find out how to give them temporary custody or a temporary power of attorney for her.
What ( if any ) court papers do I need to fill out if I wish to grant custody of my daughter to my mother if anything should happen to me? Or is a handwritten notarized paper sufficient enough?
What do I need to do to get guardianship of a 16 year old that lives with me but is originally from California?
How do I go about giving guardianship or power of attorney of my son to my sister and brother in law
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